Greenland USA
Trade Vikings for Vikings
For more see my book “Lost States”
How much would you pay for a strategically-valuable island? The Truman administration hoped to buy Greenland from Denmark for $100 million in gold in 1947. The Danes declined the offer. But according to the Associated Press, the Danish government did have a price, countering with a $1 billion price tag.*
Given current valuations, America could just trade the Danes one NFL franchise for the whole island. I’d suggest the Minnesota Vikings, since the team wouldn’t have to change their uniforms very much.
Fair Trade?
One big island for 1 NFL team
But Denmark is probably too far away for an NFL franchise. The solution might be to locate the team in Greenland itself. Conveniently, the entire population of Greenland could fit into one NFL stadium. So the facility could do double-duty for town-hall meetings.
And consider the amazing potential rivalry: the Greenland Vikings vs the Green Bay Packers. While the game couldn’t be dubbed “The Ice Bowl” (because that’s the moniker for the 1967 NFL Championship Game), it could be promoted as “The Battle of the Greens.” Or given the likelihood of frostbite, the Gangrene Bowl. (More cheery if spelled “Gang-Green”).
The NFL seems keen on expanding to round-the-clock games, and the high latitudes of Greenland can only help. Following Monday Night Football could be Monday LateNight Football with a midnight kickoff under the August sun.
Would players willingly relocate to Greenland? Many U.S. territories have special tax laws, so it shouldn’t be too hard to come up with legislation allowing a 0 percent tax rate for Greenlander athletes. That might prove so popular with players that more franchises consider moving to U.S territories. Super Bowl 70: the Guam 49ers vs the The Puerto Rico Buccaneers?
What about the people of Minnesota? Their team hasn’t won a Super Bowl ever. Football was a fun experiment, but time to get back to hockey.
*The Oregonian, Wed, Jan 29, 1947